The Moment You Never Prepare For

You’re sitting quietly, scrolling through your phone, when suddenly a message pops up:

“I don’t want to live anymore.”

Your heart stops. You stare at the screen, unsure what to say. You want to help, but what if you say the wrong thing? What if you make it worse?

Moments like these are terrifying, but they’re also the moments that matter most. You don’t have to be a psychologist to make a difference. Sometimes, just knowing how to respond can help someone hold on a little longer. This is what psychological first aid looks like in real life, being a calm, safe presence when someone feels like their world is falling apart.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone is just be there for them. However, the next steps are crucial as well, so pay attention.

1) Listen Before You Speak

When someone opens up about feeling hopeless or suicidal, the most powerful thing you can do is listen. Truly listen.

You don’t need to fix it. You don’t need the perfect words. You just need to be there.

Say things like:

• “I’m really glad you told me.”

• “That sounds incredibly painful.”

• “You don’t have to face this alone.”

Avoid quick reassurances like “You’ll be fine” or “Don’t think like that.” These might come from love, but they can sound dismissive. The goal is to let the person know their pain is seen and heard, not minimised.

Sometimes, silence helps. Just being present and holding space for their words can make them feel less alone.

2) Stay Calm and Take Their Words Seriously

Never assume they’re exaggerating or being dramatic. If someone says they feel at the end of their rope, take it seriously.

Stay composed, even if you feel scared inside. Your calm presence gives them stability. If you panic or lecture, they might shut down.

Use a gentle tone. Slow your speech. Let them feel your care through your patience.

3) Ask Direct Questions:                                                 It Shows Care, Not Fear

If you think they might be suicidal, it’s okay, and actually important, to ask directly:

• “Are you thinking about ending your life?”

• “Do you have a plan for how you might do it?”

These questions don’t put the idea in their head. Research shows that asking directly can reduce the risk of suicide because it permits them to speak openly.

If they say yes, stay with them, physically or virtually, and don’t leave them alone until help is secured. Encourage immediate professional support or contact emergency helplines.

If you’re in Pakistan, you can reach out to:

• Umang Helpline: 0311-7786264

• Rozan Helpline: 0304-111-1741

If you’re outside Pakistan, search for local suicide prevention hotlines. Many countries have 24/7 confidential services available.

4) Offer Connection, Not Control

It’s easy to feel helpless and want to “fix” things, but remember, your role is to connect, not control.

Say:

• “Would you like me to help you find someone to talk to?”

• “Can I stay on the phone with you while we figure this out?”

If they’re hesitant about therapy, normalise it:
“Therapy doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you; it’s a place to find tools that make life a little easier.”

You can mention that platforms like Serenified offer compassionate, affordable, and accessible professional support when someone needs a safe space to talk.

5) Follow Up: It Matters More Than You Think

After the crisis moment passes, keep checking in.
A simple “Thinking of you today” or “How are you feeling this morning?” can mean the world.

Consistency shows care. It reminds them they’re still seen and valued even after the panic fades.

You don’t need to have long conversations every day; small, genuine gestures keep the connection alive.

What NOT to Say

Even with good intentions, some phrases can unintentionally harm. Avoid saying:

• “Don’t say that.”

• “Others have it worse.”

• “You should be grateful for what you have.”

• “You’re overthinking.”

• “Be strong.”

These words, though meant to comfort, invalidate deep pain. Instead, say:
“I can see you’re hurting right now.”
or
“I might not have the right words, but I’m here with you.”

1) Know When to Bring in Professionals

If the person keeps expressing hopelessness, talks about suicide in detail, or you feel out of your depth, it’s time to call in professional help.

Encourage them gently: “You don’t have to go through this alone. Let’s talk to someone who can really help.”

If there’s immediate danger, don’t hesitate to contact a family member, emergency line, or counsellor. It’s better to overreact than to regret staying silent.

2) You’re Not Their Saviour, You’re Their Bridge to Safety

You can’t carry their pain for them. But you can walk beside them until help arrives.

Your empathy, patience, and willingness to listen may not fix everything, but it might give them the strength to hold on one more day. And sometimes, that one day makes all the difference.

Don't Be Overwhelmed, Breathe and Recap

Supporting someone in crisis is emotionally heavy, but it’s also one of the most human things we can do.

When someone says, “I can’t take it anymore,” your calm presence, gentle words, and care could be the first step toward their healing.

If you or someone you love is struggling, reach out for help. Serenified offers confidential counselling and a compassionate space to talk. Healing begins when we stop facing our pain alone.